Leighton Buzzard 30^th June 2000 , 08: 30 am.
 

Arrived at Tesco to fill up with petrol

I Met Andrew at Tesco at 6:30 am. Andrew had discovered a huge flat spot at about 2000 rpm on the way from Thatcham. Since the car had only traveled 1/2 mile before today, we shouldn't have been surprised.. He was quite worried at the lack of power uphill, if you got the revs wrong. We discussed it briefly, whilst Andrew filled the car up, and decided he could gently drive through it and that it was simply a case of mixture too weak. No time to change it and we decided against it anyway so as not to upset the emissions settings.  We set off in convoy for Leighton Buzzard. By the time we got to Chievely it was raining - quite hard, with a fair amount of spray off of the wheels of passing cars.  Sat behind Andrew in my "tin top", I cursed quietly under my breath, wondering what it was like for him. I saw his lights come on and the windscreen wipers start sweeping the windscreen. Well at least they work - so it's not all bad.  Later I asked Andrew what it was like? He said, "No problem. I only got wet whilst waiting at the traffic lights."  We soon ran out of the rain, and though dull and sometimes a little misty, it never returned.  Andrew began to work the speed up as he got used to the handling and the traffic allowed.  On the occasions when he decided to try it out, once past the flat spot it certainly accelerated well, leaving my tin top well in its wake.  However, it was a cautious drive, from my position the car looked like it was going well. I could predict it's speed at various points in the journey 40, 50, 70 mph which gave me confidence in the speedometer programming. The remainder of the journey was uneventful, A34 to M40 Junction 9 (Oxford), A43 Bicester, A41 Aylsbury, A418 Leighton Buzzard, apart from one stop for an agricultural comfort break and for Andrew to have cigarette. A505 to the Test Centre, we arrived with 5 minutes to spare after a reasonably relaxed journey. Total distance 70 miles.  

Leighton Buzzard Test Centre

We reported to reception and were told to put the car in to a 3rd lane next to a Refuse Truck.  With the Westfield dwarfed by surrounding trucks we waited for our tester to appear.  Andrew offered me a sandwich, gratefully accepted, whilst he had a cup of coffee. It seemed like ages waiting there but was probably no longer than 5 minutes. Mid way through eating and drinking Richard Taylor and his "apprentice, John" (as he introduced himself) appeared.  The sandwiches and coffee caused some light relief as we introduced ourselves and they set about scrutinizing the car. Insisting that we carry on eating and drinking. Funny, I had lost my appetite.   

With one at the back and the other at the front, peering and poking, observing and feeling, faces expressionless, there is no indication of what they are checking or what is going through their minds. During the course of this Andrew noticed that that John's first move was to check the radius of the rear light reflectors, but merely by feeling them with his hands, Richards head had disappeared under the dash. We felt we were pretty well covered up under there. They stand back at frequent intervals and peer intently at the car, swap ends and continue in the same way. Not knowing what they are thinking is both disconcerting and frustrating.

John & Richard at work

Richard asked for the bonnet to be taken off and he checks the chassis number against the form. Now the scrutinizing continues. I notice that Richard is paying particular attention to the fuel hoses from the point where they enter the engine bay to the carburetors and the pipe joining the carburetors.  From his expression I think he does not like what he sees and probably wants used to have used braided hoses,  but no comment ensues. John is looking at heater hoses. (What a pain they had been to get a neat installation.) He shows us that he thinks the looped aluminium pipe from the block to the heater inlet rubs against the coil pack brackets as it passes underneath.  We immediately offer to cover the pipe with a piece of heater hose but John and Richard both say not to worry at this stage.  Scrutineering seems to take forever, They check the lights and the tell tales in the dash board, paying particular attention to the brake warning lamp operation, for handbrake and low hydraulic fluid levels, fog lamp warning (which we added to the dash) and the other warning lamps.  I took a brake for a cup of coffee on the way I passed one of the other inspectors. "How is it going ?" he asks "OK as far as I can tell" I reply.  Richard and John are giving nothing away.  

"Very nicely put together"

I came back to Andrew and Richard chatting about things in general, including Richard's driving experiences. I talked to John. It turns out he is a former "AA" man ( Nothing to do with alcohol) he has just done the 3 week SVA course. The atmosphere seems a little bit more cordial as we wait for one of the lanes in the "shed " to become free. Out of the blue, still looking at the car, Richard says "Very nicely put together" It sounds sincere and It gives you a bit of a warm glow.

At  Richards request Andrew drives over he pit on to the turning plates to check the steering.. Richard instructs Andrew to turn full lock in both directions whilst he examines the cycle wing positions in relation to the bodywork and headlights and the Aeroquips do not foul the cycle wings or bodywork.  Richard tells me that he thinks, it is possible under rough terrain conditions and full lock that the cycle wings may come in to contact with the headlamps. "It doesn't at the moment.” "Put a blob of Tippex on the cycle wings and check if it does sometime".  Andrew drove off the turning pads as requested.

Over the pit

John disappears below in to the pit. Richard now walks round the car asking Andrew to operate the lights and indicators whilst he observes. They all work normally.  Richard follows John down in to he pit. This is quite nerve-racking pushing and pulling, shaking and rocking he car. Instructions to Andrew to operate the brakes and handbrake, "On, Off, Release" are shouted up from the depths. Andrew found it quite disconcerting as he had no idea what was going on under the car.  

I sensed we were approaching headlight-setting time. I had asked Andrew ,"What size spanner do we need?, "   " 13/16  I think"   he replies. I wander off to the car to get the spanner. Not wishing to appear obvious I put the spanner in my pocket. When I got back Richard and John were still down in he pit.  The first thing that goes through your mind is, What's the problem?. No indication is discernable on their faces as they emerged from the pit.

Part of he SVA course must be, how to keep a dead straight face under all circumstances to ensure the customer is confused and kept in the dark. As the test progressed I was aware that Richard is constantly grimacing , half smiling, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head, muttering to himself,  at strategic points. You certainly can't read anything in to this. John is quite different and will engage in conversation as well as explain what is going on at various points in the test.  

Richard wheeled up the headlight setting equipment and set it up for direction and height in front of the car. Andrew switched on the lights using both dip and main beam as requested. Richard looked up from the instrument and says "Would you care to adjust it?  In a flash I produced the spanner from my pocket. Richard is decidedly under whelmed, but almost raises a smile. "Can't you do it without?" I explain we have tightened them up.  I loosen the OS headlight, with John's assistance holding he lamp and ensuring that I don't clatter the spanner against the bodywork. John now directs the lamp at Richard’s instruction until he is satisfied. Looking in to the top of the instrument, you can see the pattern of the light against a graduated scale. Satisfied, Richard directed me to tighten up the lamp. Unfortunately it moved during the process and had to be re-done. John held the lamp in place whilst I tightened it once again. “Was it too high” I asked – “No too low” was the reply. Now it was OK and we repeated the procedure for the NS lamp. We had deliberately not set up the headlights. Having read of someone else’s experience, which basically says the testers will only trust their own instruments and will want the headlights adjusted anyway.  In the event we were pretty close and only a small adjustment was required. 

We moved on to brake testing on the rollers, front wheels first. I informed Richard that we have and LSD he replies that he had realized that. Richard operates the rollers from the booth, calling instructions to Andrew over the intercom system.  Initial brake testing completed Andrew was asked to don the aluminium shoe connected to the pressure meter. It is not easy to put on, strapped to the bottom of your shoe and to get on to the brake pedal, in the restricted space in the foot well. From memory tests were carried out at 5, 10,15, 20, 25 Kgf. The procedure was repeated for the rear wheels.  All this passed without comment.

Outside the shed once again Andrew was told to park the car with the exhaust pointing towards the shed and about 10 to 15 ft away. John appeared with a ball on the end of a stick and apiece of angled metal. The angled metal was used to position, what I realised was the noise meter. John asked Andrew to start the engine and rev to 3,500 rpm. The meter registered over 101 db (a failure).  John asked Andrew to reduce the revs to 3,000 rpm. As far as I could tell (the meter was upside down from my position), it registered 98.4 db. John pronounced it as a JUST pass.  On reflection, if it had failed (using a standard Westfield exhaust system) I would have asked for a re -test pointing away from the shed. to eliminate noise bouncing back from the shed. Still, it did not matter. I thanked John for giving us the benefit of reduced rpm. "We have a fairly relaxed attitude to these things" he said. "That is until we give you 1 1/2 pages." joined in Richard.

Emissions tests came next. Andrew moved the car nearer the building and I removed the bonnet. John asked the age of the engine, 1995. "There is no catalytic converter?" asked  Richard. "No - straight carburetion." was my reply.  The test equipment had been calibrating in still air, whilst we were doing the noise checks. Richard inserted the probe in to the exhaust and asked Andrew to rev the engine and hold it at that specific speed whilst the reading stabilized. The flat spot and the state of the engine tune made this quite difficult. Andrew was struggling to hold the revs constant and was getting tired. Eventually Richard concluded the test and took a printout, removed the HT pick up lead from No.1 plug (This is the equipment measured the engine revs)  and the exhaust probe.  John asked why we had chosen carburetors. On the spur of the moment I replied "Less expensive than fuel injection  Richard kept Andrew idling the engine for what seemed and age. "What's going on".  I asked Andrew.    “I think he is re-calibrating the equipment and waiting for the readings to settle”.  About 15 minutes later , when he was ready,  Richard inserted the probe again and tested the engine at idle. Shortly after Richard printed the results of this test. Andrew asked if we could have a copy of the printout and was told yes. Whilst John got the ramps and scales ready,  Richard explained the Emission Test results as really a standard MOT test in accordance with 1992 regulations. It passed easily.

The remainder of the test was a bit of a blur. John positioned the scales and ramps, and the car pushed backwards up the ramps and on to the scales. It was weighed with and without Andrew in the driving seat. I couldn't see what the readings were. but it was accompanied by sarcastic remarks from John and Richard on how much Andrew weighed. Off the scales again The track and wheelbase were measured. I understand as part of the weight calculations.  No comment.

 We were on the final lap the car was re-positioned away from the building again. Richard got in, with some difficulty, and adjusted the mirrors. He is a big guy, it was just as difficult to get out again. Richard then proceeded to wander around the car at some distance. John explained he was checking the angles of view, He indicated that the side repeaters were where we could come unstuck.  The strange bracket to measure the height of the seat belts was placed in the car. Measurements were OK followed by careful examination of he seat belt anchorages again, they had also been checked earlier as part if the initial scrutineering.   Next came a pole with markings on it, clearly used for checking the height of various lights with max and min distances marked on various faces on he bar. No reaction from Richard at all.  

Richard climbed back in he car and started the engine and disappeared, with the car. John explained that he was checking the Speedo . The yellow lines on the tarmac were for HGV and the red lines for SVA.  Richard reappeared in the car. I'm not used to seeing it being driven it certainly sounds and looks good.  Richard rejoins us "A flat spot!" you said. "If you put your foot down it dies!"  We explain again, that the engine is not tuned up yet and we plan to put it in a rolling road as soon as it is registered, but it is driveable, if you gentle your way through it. I've yet to work out how he managed to drive the car in industrial steel toe cap safety boots - but he did. No comment was made on the accuracy of the speedo. 

Richard and John look at each other and mutter something about the heater pipe. Richard motions us to remove the bonnet. They look again at the heater hose picked up during initial scrutineering . John asked if the pipe was plastic or metal. The pipe is aluminium, powder coated. He explained that it touches the underside if the coil bracket.  " You say you have a piece of heater hose in the car". I went off to fetch it. I returned with a length of 5/8 hose, two cable ties and a “Stanley” knife and a pair of snips. I was making a pigs ear of cutting the hose. John took it from me and said he would do it in a vice.  He returned, not only with it cut, but split down the middle. Gave it to me. I wrapped it around the pipe and secured it with cable ties and cut them off.  John and Richard inspected it and were satisfied

Test over - Now the wait.

"Put bonnet on and take the car back to the car park". said Richard. It was just over 2 ½ hours. There now followed about a twenty-minute wait.  Andrew and I chatted over the test. Chris Masters had said  " To fill the underside of the set belt anchorages with "Sikoflex" to hide the fact that the bolts don't go completely through the mountings". I had forgotten  -  could this be a problem?  coffee doesn't do anything,  to calm the nerves. 

 Eventually Richard and John return with the ...MAC - WE HAVE PASSED, AT THE FIRST ATTEMPT... With effusive thanks for their help we left. Still not believing we have done it.  Almost 3 hours to the minute. Mobile phones were quickly pressed in to action to call those back home, with the good news.  

The Certificate

The journey back home was more pleasant with occasional breaks of sunshine. Andrew was clearly enjoying himself and getting used to the car.   Back home there was much animated discussion as we shared our impressions from our different vantage points.

 On reflection we think that, within the first few minutes of seeing the car. the quality of the build, attention to detail, particularly to known SVA fail items, the general finish of the vehicle they had made up their minds on what they were looking at. Certainly by the end of scrutineering they were comfortable. They had seen all cables were neat and secure. Richard had mentioned, some time during the test, that the main cable loom from the back the dash to the fuse boxes was exposed and could have been covered up with carpet.  He agreed it was difficult with such a thick loom. We did not elaborate that it will be covered up by the supplementary instrument panel when fitted.  However that aside they felt and observed that we had covered all bolts and edges under the dash. Radiused the front exhaust pipe clamp and rear lamp clusters. We had put 5 mm edging strip around the back of the rear number plate and the around the fog and reversing lamps. We think this set the seal on the day. If they had been unhappy at this stage they would have gone through everything with a fine tooth comb.  Of course, they had to go through the test, in case some safety item cropped up or some other failure appeared, but it coloured their attitude towards the car and us.

 At no time did the infamous cones and orbs come out. Neither were we asked to produce any documentation on engine or other components.

  We express our thanks to Richard Taylor and to John for the manner and way they conducted the test and for the MAC. We thank Chris Masters, Steve Richards, Ed Cane and Nigel  Burton for their help in securing a successful SVA test.